Life goes about divvying up our time; there is work, there is sleep, there is child-rearing. Then it brings in housework, which honestly, who has time with messy kids in the house, then there is laundry – let’s face it – if you sniff it and it passes, it can get worn again so just fold it up and put it away.
Every day is, in whole – some form of a chore and by bedtime, we hope that we’ve at the least, remembered to tell the kids to clean behind their ears and brush their teeth because we, or at least I, have given up on forcing them to eat their broccoli!
So in the balance – it’s a seesaw; sometimes the weight gets too heavy and it tips off-kilter.
Now, with the magic of “seesaw” living, I’ve added school to my mix. And not school, as in the required form that the kidlets attend daily, no – it is re-education for me. And ee gads – what a journey this is set up to be. Classes and weekends and hours of studying to take exams that in the beginning I thought passing with a “C” would be acceptable, until I received an “A”. Now, a “C” is what I will accept if I’ve not studied enough but I still get hot-mad at myself for that grade. Yes it is passing but it’s like good sex, once you’ve had it – you would like to repeat it over and over and over again – sigh – but I digress.
In all, though, I have minimal time for writing – the one true passion outside of the obvious mom/wife role. I feel so naked and afraid without the words on paper. Now sure, I’ve had to submit papers already. We actually submit them quite often but they are factual and filled with assessment details and medical lingo – none of it is freeing and fancy and fun and filled with clouds of whimsy. I find it dry – a trite boring, albeit necessary but entirely a “yawn.”
I stole a few moments today to breathe life into a blog that feels as if it is suffocating a slow death, one that I may just dismantle for a while, or leave to sit dormant in hopes that someone may stop by for a read, a laugh, a cry or a recipe. Either way, it felt good to write and say a few verses that had nothing to do with numbers or terms – complete free verse. And while I am paving a new journey for a better tomorrow, I can tell you that the abundant thoughts that stampede through my mind are the furthest thing from the topics that I must jot notes upon.
It is one more hat added to the many I already wear – and with it, quiet words run wild, never finding time to “glue” themselves to paper.